REPARENT DAY 7
(13-26 YEARS OLD)
With the advent of puberty, childhood correctly comes to an end. This is the establishment of a conscious identity. Youth is one of the stormiest times in the life cycle. During this period, we are caught in between the two worlds of childhood & adulthood, and we are essentially swinging back and forth between the two.
Distancing from parents is a regular part of this process. To leave home, adolescents have to make their parents unattractive. We experiment a great deal – with ideas, styles, roles, and behaviors. Often the experiments are in opposition to our parents’ lifestyle or values. Experimenting is a way to expand one’s horizons and to try on other ways of behaving before finalizing one’s identity.
The number one worry on a teenagers’ mind is career: what kind of work will I do? Where will I spend my energy? How will I take care of myself? What am I going to be when I grow up?
Adolescence is a lonely time. No matter how many peer group buddies a person has, they feel an emptiness inside. This is because the young person does not know for sure where they are going. Because of a newly emerging ability to think abstractedly, the future becomes a problem for the first time in a person’s life. If they have a wounded inner child, that experience is intensified. This period also marks the point in which we become self-conscious – painfully aware of ourselves.
The newly experienced sexual feelings are compelling and the bodily changes are awkward. One feels embarrassed and strange. Teens will naturally explore their sexuality. Exploring the genitals is crucial for healthy identity. Healthy exploration: masturbation, mutual masturbation, fondling, and finally intercourse is normal and healthy to experience.
The acute self-consciousness of adolescence results from the belief that “everyone is looking at me.” If there is a wounded inner child, this belief is painfully intensified.
Most importantly, in adolescence, we begin to act out our original pain and unmet childhood needs.
The juvenile delinquent’s violence attests to the undifferentiated rage of his hurt and lonely inner child. Criminality is a way to steal back what was lost in childhood. Drug use dulls the pain of the dysfunctional-family loneliness. When children act out, it is directly related to the dysfunctional families they belong to.
This is a phase when personal identity begins to be sealed. Kids from dysfunctional families cannot possibly seal their identity because they have no sense of their authenticity when they start this period of adolescence. Not knowing who you are is the most significant tragedy of all. The rigid family-social system roles sealed during adolescence become the most conscious identity you have. A significant part of manifesting is getting back in touch with your authenticity, healing it, and integrating it into your everyday self and choices – on a subconscious level.
What was your magnetic teen like? Describe your energy?
Magnetic house? School? Parents?
How were you acting out, what deeper childhood stuff was in need of healing?
Describe your experience with your sexuality? Who was your confident sexuality expander? What experiences did you heal and reprogram?
Describe anything that came up around career and reprogramming?
Anything else notable!