DAY 7 • Oh Sex
No sleeping with the person for 6 weeks
I have a very very very big rule with every one of my clients: male and female. No sleeping with the person for 6 weeks. WHAT?!!!!! 100% I can't tell you how many times my inbox fills up with (especially female) clients that make this mistake. And then they get to learn the hard way after multiple tests to not touch that fire anymore because it only prolongs connecting with the person they've called in.
BLURRED LINES • This is very important to this process. The moment that you sleep with someone and develop feelings for them, you are energetically connected to them. Your brain chemistry is haywire; therefore you're unable to spot red flags and make sound decisions about not settling.
ENERGETICS • When you sleep with a person that is a test, you are very clearly, energetically communicating to the universe that your self-worth is low; therefore, you are seeking validation or attention rather than owning your power and standards.
SPOTTING TESTS • If someone isn't that into you, they certainly aren't going to hang around for six weeks pursuing you and getting to know you. This is an incredible tool for weeding out tests. Like, incredible.
HOW DO I WAIT THAT LONG?
It's all about self-worth - set your pace and boundaries.
Everyone is looking for the diamond in the rough that values themselves above all else and isn't willing to bend their boundaries or worth until they are ready. This is called "husband" and "wife" material. You'd be surprised how just this simple act creates SO much situational magnetism for you. Especially if you haven't been in your power about it in the past.
Start with a coffee date one week, a dinner date the second week, and avoid going to each other's houses after dates. Take it slow. Speak your needs out the gate, "I just want you to know that I'm only looking to cultivate something serious these days, so I'm going to be taking this very slow. If it's not where you're at, no worries, great meeting you! Cheers." If they aren't respectful of it, know that they are going to most likely try to push that boundary and it's up to you to communicate the reinforcement of it.
WHAT IF I WANT TO SLEEP AROUND?
Rock on, especially if you've never gone through that phase in your life.
Get it out! Carve out this special time to consciously explore your total sexuality. However, if you're in here, you're most likely calling in your "person." Once again, in order to connect with this magical person you've called in, your self-worth has to be aligned with their self-worth. Are you looking for the partner that's sleeping around? I doubt it.
Let's get some clarity here.
Going back to the timeline that you created for each dating or relationship dynamic since high school, I want you to focus on the last three years. Did you have any early sexual experiences while actively desiring an evolved committed relationship? If so, I want you to answer these questions:
- Did it result in the partnership that you were looking for?
- Did it throw you off, making you needy, insecure, or unclear?
- Did the person lose their interest relatively quickly after?
- Did you feel in your worth and in your authentic power?