Expanded x Ep. 13 - Mark Groves, Human Connection Specialist

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Create the Love and Relationships You Want through Self-Worth Expansion

“Give yourself permission to being human and to recognize that self worth is an ongoing every-moving target.”

Mark Groves joins this episode of the EXPANDED Podcast to discuss his journey to learning about and understanding human connection and behavior. He shares the teachings and programmings he adopted from his parents and upbringing, as well as the reprogramming he had to go through in order to find his authentic path. Mark also shares his advice for creating the love you want and nurturing your relationships as the nature of partnership continues to evolve in this day and age.

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Words from Mark:

“Getting to know your own shit is the greatest thing ever – knowing, appreciating, and getting into it.

I tell people don’t seek advice from people who are going to be directly impacted by your choices, because they’ll give you advice based on how they might be impacted. It takes a lot for a human to separate themselves consciously from an impact, because selfishly we want to protect ourselves.

“Give yourself permission to being human and to recognize that self worth is an ongoing every-moving target.”

If you can face the shame, then you are literally facing the opportunity to become a freakin’ Jedi of that thing. And then you’ll be able to love deeper and live more expansively than you ever have. Because I think what happens is that we hit these upper limits.

“Your growth is that you should never abandon yourself for a relationship.”

You can learn and learn and learn and read books and do all those things. Or you can actually start to apply these things. True change really comes when you actually do something different. And I find as humans we get so addicted to the learning, but we’re not changing the results or the outcomes in your life.

Humans have always been superficial, it’s just that Tinder allows you to see a magnifying glass to the fact that we swipe left and right. But when you’re walking down the street, you’re swiping left and right all the time.

We derive our relationship from being chosen not recognizing that when you’re dating or in a relationship, you’re choosing. You get to choose too. You’re not just waiting for someone to choose you, but most people date and operate in their partner selection phase.”

“In that shame and in that emotion of what could feel like unworthiness, is actually where all of the wisdom is.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • Where he grew up

  • His parents’ relationship modeling and lessons learned

  • His mother adapting as an immigrant from Ireland

  • Learning open mindedness from his mother

  • Paying his way through college working in sales at Best Buy

  • Studying finance in University to pursue sales

  • Becoming a pharmaceutical rep and how it led him to learning about human behavior

  • Following societal programming and getting engaged at 25

  • Knowing if he/she is the one

  • Starting to study the science of relationships after leaving his fiancé

  • Choosing relationships with unconscious drives and letting your beliefs choose for you

  • Feeling worthy of a great relationship

  • How he navigates his rock bottoms or autopilot moments

  • Looking to your relationships and choices as mirrors

  • The effects of shame and learning how to face it instead of bury it

  • Self worth when two people come together in a relationship

  • Setting boundaries and not losing yourself in relationship

  • How to stay connected and protected in a relationship

  • Recognizing resentment in a relationship

  • Dating apps and biological desires

  • What you want vs. what you’re showing yourself you want    

Resources:

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